If I say I’m madly in love with you, you’d know I’m lying.

on

Darling I lied to you, every time I said you were the best thing that has ever happened to me. I lied to you, nodding my head, when you asked me if I was happy with you. I lied to you, when I said I understand all the reasons when you didn’t call. Or drop a text.
And worst, I lied to you, even as I walked away, when I made you believe that for the brief time we were together, we loved truly. 

For you never really loved me. It was always her. The one you couldn’t have. And I just happened to be that girl who looked so much like her.

Albeit, it was me, I lied to the most. As I ignored all the rotten parts of you which reeked of disloyalty, manipulation and lechery. And every time my instincts warned me against every single word you spoke, I blocked the voices, muffling their screams as I let you prevaricate me into prejudice.

You see, I wasn’t naive, just hopeful. Thinking it would last, if we wouldn’t give up. But baby you had other plans. 

And so, known for your sardonic ways, you decide to show up, begging me for another chance. Another chance to play, another to ruin. But I know better and it’s been awhile, long enough for me to accept certain reality. A reality in which I’ve outgrown the toxins. Outgrown you. Truth be told, you’re just a boy. A silly sad boy. Troubled in your own way, as you fail to make peace with your demons. Thus, I do not hate you or curse you ill fate. I only wish you wake up from your slumber. I hope you make your way home. Sober. And never look for me again.

Because darling I’m done. I’m done being in love with you & I’ve never been more honest with myself.

 

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16 Comments Add yours

  1. ksbeth says:

    wonderful powerful words.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monica says:

      I’m glad you found them so. Thanks for reading.♥

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Poignant writing… moving piece. Thanks for stopping by, kind of you to read my poems. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monica says:

      Thanks a lot Iris. Your words of praise always push me to work better. 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Most welcome, Monica. 😃

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Nishita13 says:

    There are no coincidences. -Baptist De Pape.
    I was meant to read this, it helped me understand. 🙂
    Honestly written, touched my heart. ❤
    Thankyou so much for spamming me with a ton of likes. Appreciated. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monica says:

      Lol. I have a bad habit to spam. And when it’s you, I just couldn’t stop. I’m just amazed how frequently you write, every post so beautifully crafted. If only people could be that dedicated to their work, let alone me. It would’ve made a huge difference. ♥😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nishita13 says:

        Me too, honestly 🙂 My, my your compliments make me blush. Thankyou so much. I love the aesthetics of your blog too much. I adore the content. I guess I am starting like you a lot, my friend. 🙂 Stay Beautiful. ❤

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Very authentic and well written

    Like

  5. Powerful writing. I love the strength in saying, “I’ve had enough.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Monica says:

      Thanks for reading. It’s indeed powerful when one’s sure of what they deserve.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Esther says:

    When a woman has that resolve, nothing can shake it.

    Powerful words.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Nishita13 says:

    Namaste!
    Happy July. 🙂
    I’ve nominated you for the following awards.
    The link of the post is here: https://walkingtomydreams13.wordpress.com/2017/07/04/july-3/
    Cheers to you. 💋

    Like

  8. robertcday says:

    You have cluster-bombed my blog with Likes and I like you more for doing that than I like my own feeble attempt to bring you to my notice by dropping a single Like on this post. Still, I brought you to me and you brought me, in turn, back to you and …
    Oh, all I really want to say is that you are a talented writer and … and that’s it for now. 🙂
    Kindness – Robert.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. feifei says:

    This is really beautiful

    Liked by 1 person

  10. tanyablog4u says:

    This is really very beautiful 🙂
    Its been very beautifully written and expressed 🙂 As i am new here looking forward for your valueable feedback in my blog

    Liked by 1 person

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