If I say I’m madly in love with you, you’d know I’m lying.

Darling I lied to you, every time I said you were the best thing that has ever happened to me. I lied to you, nodding my head, when you asked me if I was happy with you. I lied to you, when I said I understand all the reasons when you didn’t call. Or drop a text.
And worst, I lied to you, even as I walked away, when I made you believe that for the brief time we were together, we loved truly. 

For you never really loved me. It was always her. The one you couldn’t have. And I just happened to be that girl who looked so much like her.

Albeit, it was me, I lied to the most. As I ignored all the rotten parts of you which reeked of disloyalty, manipulation and lechery. And every time my instincts warned me against every single word you spoke, I blocked the voices, muffling their screams as I let you prevaricate me into prejudice.

You see, I wasn’t naive, just hopeful. Thinking it would last, if we wouldn’t give up. But baby you had other plans. 

And so, known for your sardonic ways, you decide to show up, begging me for another chance. Another chance to play, another to ruin. But I know better and it’s been awhile, long enough for me to accept certain reality. A reality in which I’ve outgrown the toxins. Outgrown you. Truth be told, you’re just a boy. A silly sad boy. Troubled in your own way, as you fail to make peace with your demons. Thus, I do not hate you or curse you ill fate. I only wish you wake up from your slumber. I hope you make your way home. Sober. And never look for me again.

Because darling I’m done. I’m done being in love with you & I’ve never been more honest with myself.