What difference would it make? You thought you’ll be better off the drama that’s presently eating you inside out. Away from the means, two faced people you just don’t understand. You constantly ask yourself, how should you react? Ignore & act as if they don’t exist? But darling they do. You are supposed to counter them every day, work with them and to cause no scenes; you got to pretend that you’re fine, past the hurt, past the bearings. You know it all; you have to face them eventually. But aren’t we all afraid of the outcome?
The outburst after holding on for so damn long. The breakdown after pretending that it didn’t get to you. Playing the lone wolf – because you’ve had enough. You’re done talking, making efforts, you can’t take anymore.
You get away out of the blue because all along you thought of an escape. The instant you get the offering, you’re gone. Now you’re here, and you’re all about enjoying the journey and getting the answers to all your problems. Isn’t it why we think of an escape in the first place? To get a break, certainly more time to think things through and a way to settle everything just right.
The journey begins- you start with noticing the details; the pattern of the clouds, wilderness of the woods, chattering of people, children passing by. You heed their faces, their expressions speaking of a story untold; you realize it’s not just you who are struggling but every person breathing.
Deep in your thoughts, you’re back to thinking about them, the very reason of this sudden getaway in the first place. If things would’ve been fine you’d have enjoyed this journey or maybe wouldn’t need one. You tell yourself that you hate them because of the hurt but deep inside you know you don’t. You’re dying to know if they’re affected with you leaving. Do they miss you; Are they sorry for their doings? Do you even matter to them? You secretly wish them to apologize and admit their doings but was it just their fault? What if you’re equally responsible for this mess?
Introspect. How’d have things turned if you’d reacted differently? What are you upset about if it isn’t your guilt eating you? You definitely aren’t enjoying the getaway if you’re still bothered and your mind still chaotic. You know they matter, even if not, you need to settle things out with them for your own peace. Be spiritual, let go of the negative vibes, if not be practical in order to sustain in such a competitive world. You cannot break down, you should not. It’s just a phase in your life and it will pass. You’ll get better and wiser. Tackle the situation and put the experience in your life’s C.V. Forgive those people, forgive yourself. It’s just human nature; we let down the one’s we care most about and often hurt people unknowingly. But just because of few sour happenings we cannot give up hope on care and affection.
So now when you’ll get back in your daily routine, remind yourself that you’re strong, and doesn’t hold any grudges towards anyone. Smile away the hurt and eventually you’ll be fine in time.
At last, do not forget, there’s a part in all of us that’s scared, unsure and broken but when you get the ability to see that in yourself, you start to see that everyone is fighting every day. So, instead of saying you’re breaking and can’t take it anymore, think of the time when you helped your mother when she was at her lowest, when you corrected your best mate out of doing something horrible, when despite of your own mental breakdown, you kept going. You survived. So, be good to yourself, and make peace with your demons.